The training is coming closer to an end, and this is the final experiment. At first, I thought I should choose the hardest experiment. I thought I should pick something that I am not good at. What is it? Maybe pranayama? Or maybe mantra? Then, I asked Derik his opinion and his answer was I should do something enjoyable. I thought that this was a very interesting suggestion.
Then, I started thinking about the entire training. What did I learn most? I learned a lot; I learned Yoga philosophy, proper alignment for poses, various kinds of pranayama work, beautiful mantras, ayurveda…etc., but the juiciest at the training was learning the importance of Savasana and how to let go of the struggle.
The Axis Yoga teachers may have noticed that I struggled a lot at the beginning of this training. I forced myself to understand everything at once and it was very frustrating. I got really angry at myself at one point because I felt like I was lost.
I learned to appreciate Savasana after doing a lot of Downward-Facing Dog poses, Triangle poses and other intense poses. I've been doing Yoga for a pretty long time, and until now I never really enjoyed Savasana; my mind always starts wondering to the things I will do after practice.
During the training I experienced very different feelings from the other Savasanas that I’d done in the past. I felt my own breath, sweat, heart beat, tension and feelings. It was really nice; I felt like I could let go of everything.
My strength is I can focus, I am consistent, I am motivated and I am goal oriented. Those qualities often cause struggles and burn me out, but the problem is I just don't want to let go of anything; I always want to hold onto it and keep it going. I think I have the same attitude toward my Yoga practice. I don't like Savasana and I don't like home practice because I feel like I'm not trying hard enough.
But since I started enjoying Savasana so much in the training, I thought maybe I could do more home practice in a restorative way. Lots of Savasana at home! I was getting excited when I decided on my experiment theme.
My regular home practice routines are as follows;
Surya Namaskar (x 3)
One or Two Standing poses (i.e. Warrior series, Triangle series, Tree pose…)
Head Stand & Shoulder Stand (Those are good for my Immune disorder disease)
Twisted Setu Bandhasana (It's good for mental difficulties)
Supta Baddha Konasana
Savasana (10 to 15 min.)
I changed my standing poses daily, but for the rest of the poses, I stick with them. Also, I did gayatri mantra 3 times at the beginning and said OM internally at the end of the practice.
I wasn't sure if I would enjoy my home restorative practice before I started, but I actually really enjoyed and even started craving for the practice, especially the Savasana part! I felt rejuvenated when I was done with the practice. Also, my mind was very clear. It was deep. It was so much different from the practices I had done in the past.
As I mentioned, I struggled a lot at the beginning. I even wondered if I could make it through the training, but instead of giving up my faith, I learned to let go of my struggles gradually. Now, the training is almost over. I was counting how many days I have left every time I went to the training! It's funny, I am sad to see the training is ending.
Thank you so much for guiding us in such a positive and gentle way. I cannot tell you how much I learned from all of you. You guys are wonderful teachers and I feel really fortunate that I had you in my Yoga path. It is truly a blessing.